long time

Hi, sorry it's been awhile, I sorta quit blogging. But I thought I'd swing by for a little update because my last post was pretty negative and I haven't felt like that in quite some time...mostly becauuuussse

1. Hubby is home :) he got back in November so I've been busy in Hubby-loveland for the past 2 months and its amazing.

2. We took a second honeymoon to Maui a couple weeks ago and had an amazing time reconnecting. If you've never been to Maui (Hawaii), definitely add it to your list of future destinations!

3. We moved! Buh-bye stinky apartment, hello beautiful condo!

4.I start my last semester of nursing school/college on Monday! Woot woot!

So yeah, life's pretty amazing here :)

lonely

Being alone is more fun when it's optional.

I literally have not spoken to a single person I know all day (other than a brief Skype call sans video) and I only ventured out of my apartment once to spend about $400 fixing my car (oil change + new tires).  Not to mention, today's eight minute Hubby call is the only time I've spoken to him in three days.

I'm trying to be more positive and not complain so much but I'm so much worse when I don't get to talk to him. In comparison to how long he's been deployed, there's not much time left but communication's not great for the time that we do have remaining. His schedule's erratic, mine's always changing, and the only way we can talk is via Skype. In other words, if I'm not by my computer 24/7, I won't get to talk to him which sucks. Then I get army wife guilt if I miss his call and get super sad which I know is irrational. I also hate hate hate being that downer person all the time who makes my civilian friends/family feel awkward because they don't know what to say. I'm sorry guys, I don't know what you can say either, I just have to ride this one out.

Part of the problem with being a Guard wife is there is no military community, there is no support around here. I don't have someone to just call up and talk things over with. I don't have an FRG group meeting to look forward to, I've never even been contacted by the FRG. All of my family live at least an hour away. I'm completely isolated, stranded in the middle of city.

I can't wait for him to be back again so I won't have to be alone any longer.

I hate being a hermit.

world keeps on spinning, spinning, into the future

The more stressed I get, the more I miss my Hubby-love.

Time has been flying by lately (it's almost October!) which means that this deployment is finally coming to an end. And all I can think about is homecoming.

I want to plan everything and devote all my time/energy in its preparation. But I can't do that because of school and work which require all my attention right now. I wish I wasn't so crazybusy so I could focus on my upcoming reunion with my husband. But such is life. I should really get back to working on my homework...

nostalgic and excited

I miss him.
I miss his smile, his goofy faces, his laugh, the sound of his breathing as he sleeps beside me, the warmth of his hand around mine, everything.

I miss who I am when I'm with him, I miss being happy. I miss cooking, going for runs/walks together, watching movies together, redecorating/reorganizing our apartment, planning our future, annoying our cats.

I'm tired of doing it all alone. I'm tired of coming home to an empty apartment, eating alone, watching our shows alone, sleeping alone, waking up alone.

God give me strength and patience, I'm so over this deployment.

I realize that all may sound negative, but I don't mean it in that way. I'm actually just feeling nostalgic and excited for the future all at once.

I'm thinking about the little things I love about him and being his wife and I'm excited to have them all come back to me soon(ish).

We've been talking about taking a trip together when he's back as a sort of second honeymoon, so to speak, to have some special stress-free couple time again which we really need after all the stress of this past year.

I'm trying to think of somewhere cool for us to go that won't break the bank where we could do something we've never done before together. Somewhere fun, exciting, and away from everyone we know. And it has to be in the US because we didn't have a chance to get our passports over R&R so Mexico and the like are out unfortunately.

It's a lot to think about and I can't wait for it, wherever we end up going :)

i choose you

This made me laugh! Too bad Hubby didn't think of this when he popped the question lol



babies & birth control

One of my dear deployment friends is having her baby shower this weekend so I decided to buy her a present from Babies R Us.

I always forget how massive that store is and how expensive babies are! Diapers, bottles, carseats, cribs, stuffed animals...they all add up! I always like to joke that it's good birth control to see how pricey everything is.

And yet I always find myself fantasing about pregnancy and having babies with my husband when I leave the store.

Both of us have had the "baby bug" for quite some time now, but the plan is to wait until I'm established in my future nursing job, meaning it'll be at least a year from now before we start trying. It doesn't sound like a long time, but it can feel like one.

We've both always wanted children young and, thanks to things like facebook, it's tough to keep waiting when so many people we know or went to school with already have kids. I get so jealous of all their baby-related posts, I want that for myself!  I guess it's a good thing he's not here right now so we don't make any rash choices haha.

back to school

So today was my first day of classes of my 5th semester in the nursing program, I'm finally in my last year baby! I can't wait to graduate, I'm tired of being in school already! I'm looking forward to my classes but this week is crazy as it always is in the beginning. This semester I have community health nursing, community health clinical, leadership & management in nursing, and intro to sociology (one of these is not like the others lol).

And as I've mentioned before, I'm sad to start another semester without my Hubby-love here although I'm excited that it's the last one we'll be apart for. We've been through so much together (well, technically apart) during this deployment but enough is enough and I want him back home!

Lucky for me, today was yet another thing I can cross off on my checklist of things that will happen before Hubby's back. Going back to school means I'm one step closer to him and I can't complain about that :)