I haven't blogged for awhile, it's just been busy here with work and my online summer class (which finally ended).
I said I'd blog more about R&R but I really don't feel like it.
It was wonderful and it's hard to talk about now that he's gone again. It was the happiest that I've been this year and I got used to be able to be with my husband again. It really sucked having to say goodbye again, I thought it wouldn't be that terrible but I really didn't want to let him go.
While he was here, we made some changes in our apartment (new furniture) and it's just not fair that he can't be here to enjoy our new things together. I got used to having my man around to help me with things and now I have to do them by myself again. There are a lot of things that a girl just can't do by herself and they just make me miss him more.
I know that I've only got a few more months without him, the worst is over, it's all downhill from here, ya, ya, ya but it's still sucky.
I'm getting ready to start another semester of nursing school without him and I hate that. I spend my nights alone (except for our 2 cats) and I hate that. I eat alone, watch tv alone, do everything alone and I hate it.
I just miss him and I'm still adjusting back to being used to be alone and unhappy. Sorry to be negative, but that's what's on my mind right now. This song's pretty insync with what I'm feeling.
(Funny enough, I just watched the official video for the first time and it's about the military, so perfect for my mood)
Showing posts with label apartment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apartment. Show all posts
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
weird logic
Deployment has made me strange.
In all fairness, I've always been a little weird, but deployment's definitely increased my quirkiness to a new level.
Since I now spend a lot of time alone, I talk out loud to myself. Frequently. And not on purpose, I'll just randomly say something out loud. Even as I type, I've accidently said a few words. It's kinda embarrassing and I didn't do it before deployment.
But my main deployment-acquired quirk is my refusal to do certain chores without Hubby here.
Tasks that are simple and I could do myself, but for some reason I choose not to even though they need to be done. Nothing too gross, just little things that need to be done.
I'll give you an example- Hubby 's clock.
[I was going to post a picture but Blogger's not letting me...]
Hubby has this one giant wall clock that he's in love with. He bought it one day when he was out by himself and is always bragging about the clock to anyone that comes over. He thinks it really ties the room together (Big Lebowski anyone?).
Anyways, Hubby left for deployment last fall meaning that there was a time change (spring forward) a few months ago. But I've never changed the time on that clock.
For some weird reason, I made up my mind that I wasn't going to change it, I'm going to wait for R&R so he can change it. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure of my reasoning either because now it's a big giant reminder staring me in the face that he's not here to change it.
I also won't unclog my shower drain. It's not backed up in a gross way, but it could be moving faster. But I can't make myself do it because that has always been Hubby's job.
I won't detangle the hairs wrapped around the vaccuum cleaner brush either for the same reasons.
Weird and slightly disturbing, I know. But I guess that just comes with the territory.
I do take care of all the other miscellaneous chores around the apartment, but these three, I'm leaving up to him.
Lucky for me, Hubby's R&R is soon so I won't have to worry about these things much longer :)
In all fairness, I've always been a little weird, but deployment's definitely increased my quirkiness to a new level.
Since I now spend a lot of time alone, I talk out loud to myself. Frequently. And not on purpose, I'll just randomly say something out loud. Even as I type, I've accidently said a few words. It's kinda embarrassing and I didn't do it before deployment.
But my main deployment-acquired quirk is my refusal to do certain chores without Hubby here.
Tasks that are simple and I could do myself, but for some reason I choose not to even though they need to be done. Nothing too gross, just little things that need to be done.
I'll give you an example- Hubby 's clock.
[I was going to post a picture but Blogger's not letting me...]
Hubby has this one giant wall clock that he's in love with. He bought it one day when he was out by himself and is always bragging about the clock to anyone that comes over. He thinks it really ties the room together (Big Lebowski anyone?).
Anyways, Hubby left for deployment last fall meaning that there was a time change (spring forward) a few months ago. But I've never changed the time on that clock.
For some weird reason, I made up my mind that I wasn't going to change it, I'm going to wait for R&R so he can change it. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure of my reasoning either because now it's a big giant reminder staring me in the face that he's not here to change it.
I also won't unclog my shower drain. It's not backed up in a gross way, but it could be moving faster. But I can't make myself do it because that has always been Hubby's job.
I won't detangle the hairs wrapped around the vaccuum cleaner brush either for the same reasons.
Weird and slightly disturbing, I know. But I guess that just comes with the territory.
I do take care of all the other miscellaneous chores around the apartment, but these three, I'm leaving up to him.
Lucky for me, Hubby's R&R is soon so I won't have to worry about these things much longer :)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
2 years down, 1 to go!
I passed my last test of this semester yesterday (yay!) so I'm officially on summer break (well, at least until my summer class starts but still)!
When I first found out that I passed my mega-huge med-surg ATI test with a level 3 no less (level 2 is the minimum, 3 is the highest), I was so relieved. I felt this big worry weight lift from my shoulders and I was really happy.
Of course my next thought was instantly of Hubby and I started crying. Stupid, I know.
This is the first and only semester that he has not been here for at all and it was just a weird thought. He's been gone for parts of semesters before but never an entire one. I miss him a lot and this semester was really challenging without him here for moral support. He's always been here to remind me how hard I've worked, believe in me when I don't believe in myself, help me study, hug me when I cry, and cook me lots of food when I'm feeling stressed. Completing my 2nd year (out of 3) of nursing school without him here was just tough.
Most of the class went out for pizza after our test to celebrate and of course I was still emotional. One of the girls who is getting married this summer came with her fiancee and they are so cute, totally in love, and happy. And I've turned into this bitter old witch who cries and gets sad everytime I'm around couples in love. I could barely look at them without feeling the urge to cry and being jealous that she has her man here while my man is overseas. It's terrible and I hate feeling like that. Luckily for me, my nursing class is amazing and everyone is super kind so when I started tearing up (so annoying in public), they were all very understanding and comforting. I'll miss seeing them all over summer.
On another note, today was my first official day of summer! I was lucky enough to have my mom come down to help me clean today because my place has gotten pretty messy with my crazy schedule and lack of Hubby's cleaning assistance. She was so wonderful and helped me to start whipping my place back into shape. I fully intend to have it all cleaned and organized for Hubby's upcoming R&R. We had just barely gotten unpacked and somewhat settled when Hubby deployed so I really want to surprise him by organizing our stuff to make the most out of our little apartment.
When I first found out that I passed my mega-huge med-surg ATI test with a level 3 no less (level 2 is the minimum, 3 is the highest), I was so relieved. I felt this big worry weight lift from my shoulders and I was really happy.
Of course my next thought was instantly of Hubby and I started crying. Stupid, I know.
This is the first and only semester that he has not been here for at all and it was just a weird thought. He's been gone for parts of semesters before but never an entire one. I miss him a lot and this semester was really challenging without him here for moral support. He's always been here to remind me how hard I've worked, believe in me when I don't believe in myself, help me study, hug me when I cry, and cook me lots of food when I'm feeling stressed. Completing my 2nd year (out of 3) of nursing school without him here was just tough.
Most of the class went out for pizza after our test to celebrate and of course I was still emotional. One of the girls who is getting married this summer came with her fiancee and they are so cute, totally in love, and happy. And I've turned into this bitter old witch who cries and gets sad everytime I'm around couples in love. I could barely look at them without feeling the urge to cry and being jealous that she has her man here while my man is overseas. It's terrible and I hate feeling like that. Luckily for me, my nursing class is amazing and everyone is super kind so when I started tearing up (so annoying in public), they were all very understanding and comforting. I'll miss seeing them all over summer.
On another note, today was my first official day of summer! I was lucky enough to have my mom come down to help me clean today because my place has gotten pretty messy with my crazy schedule and lack of Hubby's cleaning assistance. She was so wonderful and helped me to start whipping my place back into shape. I fully intend to have it all cleaned and organized for Hubby's upcoming R&R. We had just barely gotten unpacked and somewhat settled when Hubby deployed so I really want to surprise him by organizing our stuff to make the most out of our little apartment.
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