nostalgic and excited

I miss him.
I miss his smile, his goofy faces, his laugh, the sound of his breathing as he sleeps beside me, the warmth of his hand around mine, everything.

I miss who I am when I'm with him, I miss being happy. I miss cooking, going for runs/walks together, watching movies together, redecorating/reorganizing our apartment, planning our future, annoying our cats.

I'm tired of doing it all alone. I'm tired of coming home to an empty apartment, eating alone, watching our shows alone, sleeping alone, waking up alone.

God give me strength and patience, I'm so over this deployment.

I realize that all may sound negative, but I don't mean it in that way. I'm actually just feeling nostalgic and excited for the future all at once.

I'm thinking about the little things I love about him and being his wife and I'm excited to have them all come back to me soon(ish).

We've been talking about taking a trip together when he's back as a sort of second honeymoon, so to speak, to have some special stress-free couple time again which we really need after all the stress of this past year.

I'm trying to think of somewhere cool for us to go that won't break the bank where we could do something we've never done before together. Somewhere fun, exciting, and away from everyone we know. And it has to be in the US because we didn't have a chance to get our passports over R&R so Mexico and the like are out unfortunately.

It's a lot to think about and I can't wait for it, wherever we end up going :)